If you’re a parent of a 21-month-old, you’re probably all too familiar with tantrums. At this age, toddlers are still learning to communicate and assert their independence, which can lead to some pretty intense outbursts. But don’t worry, you’re not alone and there are strategies you can use to help manage and reduce the frequency of these 21 month old tantrums.
As a parent, it’s important to remember that tantrums are a normal part of your child’s development. They’re a way for your toddler to express their feelings and assert their independence. But that doesn’t mean you have to simply endure them. By understanding the causes of tantrums and learning some effective coping strategies, you can help reduce the frequency and intensity of your child’s outbursts, and maintain your own sanity in the process.
In this article, we’ll explore the common triggers of 21 month old tantrums, and provide practical tips for dealing with them. From setting clear expectations to offering calm and consistent responses, you’ll learn how to navigate the terrible twos with confidence and calm. So if you’re ready to tame those tantrums and enjoy a more peaceful parenting experience, let’s get started!
Understanding the Terrible Twos: Development and Causes
The “Terrible Twos” is a well-known phase in a child’s development, typically occurring around the 21-month-old mark. However, it’s not so much about the age as it is about the stage of development your child is going through. This phase is often marked by increased tantrums and challenging behavior. But why does this happen?
Rapid Developmental Changes
At around 21 months, children experience a rapid growth in their cognitive, emotional, and social abilities. They begin to understand more about the world around them and want to explore and assert their independence. However, their communication skills are still developing, making it difficult for them to express their feelings and needs effectively. This mismatch between their desires and abilities can lead to frustration and, in turn, tantrums.
Separation Anxiety
During this stage, children may also develop separation anxiety as they begin to understand the concept of object permanence – the idea that things and people continue to exist even when they’re not present. This can make it difficult for them to cope when their primary caregivers are not around, leading to clinginess, distress, and tantrums.
Testing Boundaries
As children grow and develop, they begin to test boundaries and assert their will. This is a normal part of their development, but it can be challenging for parents and caregivers. Children may throw tantrums when they don’t get their way or when they’re asked to do something they don’t want to do. This behavior is their way of testing the limits and seeing how much control they have in their world.
Emotional Regulation
Finally, children at this age are still learning how to regulate their emotions. They may become overwhelmed by their feelings and have difficulty calming down. This can lead to prolonged tantrums and challenging behavior.
In summary, the Terrible Twos are a normal part of a child’s development, caused by rapid developmental changes, separation anxiety, boundary testing, and emotional regulation challenges. Understanding these causes can help parents and caregivers better respond to 21-month-old tantrums and support their child’s development.
2. Preventing Tantrums: Setting Clear Boundaries and Establishing Routines
One of the most effective ways to prevent 21 month old tantrums is by setting clear boundaries and establishing consistent routines. Here’s why:
Clear Expectations
When your child knows what is expected of them, they feel more secure and less likely to become frustrated or overwhelmed. Clearly communicate your expectations and follow through with consistent consequences. This helps your child understand the cause and effect of their actions and makes it easier for them to regulate their behavior.
Consistent Routines
Establishing consistent routines helps your child know what to expect throughout the day. This can reduce anxiety and uncertainty, which can trigger tantrums. Try to stick to a regular schedule for meals, naps, and bedtime. Include time for play, learning, and relaxation. This structure can help your child feel more secure and in control, reducing the likelihood of tantrums.
Predictable Consequences
When your child knows the consequences of their actions, they’re more likely to make better choices. Make sure the consequences are fair, reasonable, and related to the behavior. For example, if your child throws a tantrum when asked to clean up their toys, the consequence might be losing the privilege to play with those toys for a short period of time.
Opportunities for Choice
Giving your child opportunities to make choices can help them feel more in control and reduce the likelihood of tantrums. Offer simple choices, such as picking out their own clothes or deciding what to have for snack. This can help your child feel more autonomous and empowered, reducing the need to assert their independence through tantrums.
Proactive Problem-Solving
Look for potential triggers and address them before they become problems. For example, if your child tends to get cranky when they’re hungry, offer snacks before they become too hungry. If they struggle with separation anxiety, prepare them in advance for transitions, such as leaving the park or saying goodbye to a friend.
By setting clear boundaries, establishing consistent routines, offering predictable consequences, providing opportunities for choice, and engaging in proactive problem-solving, you can help prevent 21 month old tantrums and create a more peaceful home environment.
Responding to Tantrums: Strategies for De-escalation and Redirection
Even with the best prevention strategies, tantrums can still occur. When they do, it’s important to respond in a way that de-escalates the situation and helps your child learn to manage their emotions. Here are some strategies to consider:
Stay Calm and Consistent
It’s important to remain calm and consistent in your response to your child’s tantrums. Speak in a soothing voice and avoid getting angry or frustrated. This can help your child feel more secure and less overwhelmed. It also models appropriate behavior for your child, teaching them how to manage their own emotions in a healthy way.
Validate Their Feelings
Let your child know that you understand their feelings and that it’s okay to feel angry, sad, or frustrated. You might say something like, “I know you’re feeling really mad right now because you wanted to keep playing with your toys.” This can help your child feel heard and understood, which can reduce the intensity of the tantrum.
Offer Choices
Offering your child choices can help them feel more in control and reduce the likelihood of a tantrum. For example, you might say, “Do you want to take a break and have a snack, or do you want to take a few deep breaths and try again?” This gives your child a sense of autonomy and can help them learn to manage their emotions in a constructive way.
Distract and Redirect
Distraction and redirection can be effective strategies for de-escalating tantrums. Look for opportunities to divert your child’s attention to something else. For example, if they’re throwing a tantrum because they want a toy that’s out of reach, redirect their attention to a different toy that’s within reach. This can help your child forget about the object of their frustration and move on.
Set Boundaries and Consequences
While it’s important to respond calmly and consistently to tantrums, it’s also important to set boundaries and consequences for inappropriate behavior. Make sure the consequences are fair, reasonable, and related to the behavior. For example, if your child throws a tantrum because they can’t have a cookie before dinner, the consequence might be losing the privilege to have a cookie after dinner. This helps your child understand the cause and effect of their actions and encourages them to behave appropriately in the future.
Take a Break
Sometimes, the best thing you can do is take a break. If you’re feeling overwhelmed or frustrated, it’s okay to put your child in a safe place and take a few deep breaths. This can help you regain your composure and respond more effectively to your child’s needs.
By responding to tantrums with strategies that de-escalate the situation and help your child learn to manage their emotions, you can maintain your own sanity and support your child’s development. Remember, tantrums are a normal part of your child’s growth and development, and with the right strategies, you can help your child learn to manage their emotions in a healthy and constructive way.
Staying Calm and Maintaining Composure: Tips for Parents
When dealing with 21 month old tantrums, it’s essential for parents to stay calm and maintain their composure. Here are some tips to help you stay calm and composed during your child’s tantrums:
Take a Deep Breath
Taking a deep breath can help you stay calm and centered during your child’s tantrum. Deep breathing helps to slow down your heart rate and reduces your stress levels, making it easier for you to respond to your child’s needs.
Use Calming Techniques
Calming techniques such as counting to ten, repeating a mantra, or practicing mindfulness can help you stay calm and focused during your child’s tantrum. These techniques can help you regulate your emotions and respond to your child’s needs in a calm and composed manner.
Avoid Escalation
It’s essential to avoid escalating the situation during your child’s tantrum. Raising your voice, getting angry, or physically restraining your child can make the situation worse and increase the intensity of the tantrum. Instead, try to remain calm and composed, and avoid engaging in power struggles with your child.
Practice Empathy
Practicing empathy can help you stay calm and composed during your child’s tantrum. Try to understand your child’s perspective and validate their feelings. Let them know that you understand why they’re upset and that it’s okay to feel angry, sad, or frustrated. This can help your child feel heard and understood, reducing the intensity of the tantrum.
Take Care of Yourself
Taking care of yourself is essential when dealing with 21 month old tantrums. Make sure you’re getting enough rest, eating well, and engaging in activities that help you relax and reduce stress. When you’re well-rested and taking care of yourself, it’s easier to stay calm and composed during your child’s tantrums.
Seek Support
Seeking support from other parents, friends, or family members can help you stay calm and composed during your child’s tantrums. Talking to others who have gone through similar experiences can provide you with valuable insights and strategies for dealing with your child’s tantrums.
Practice Patience
Practicing patience is essential when dealing with 21 month old tantrums. Remember that tantrums are a normal part of your child’s development, and they will eventually grow out of this phase. In the meantime, practice patience and stay calm and composed during your child’s tantrums.
By staying calm and composed during your child’s tantrums, you can help reduce the intensity and frequency of the tantrums, and maintain your own sanity in the process. Remember, you’re not alone, and there are strategies you can use to help manage and reduce the frequency of your child’s tantrums.
5. Seeking Support: When to Consult a Professional or Seek Additional Help
While 21 month old tantrums are a normal part of a child’s development, there may be times when you need to seek additional support or help. Here are some signs that it may be time to consult a professional or seek additional help:
- Persistent and Intense Tantrums: If your child’s tantrums are frequent, intense, and persist for long periods of time, it may be a sign of a more significant issue. A professional can help you identify any underlying causes and provide you with strategies to manage the tantrums.
- Self-Harm or Aggression: If your child is harming themselves or others during a tantrum, it’s essential to seek professional help immediately. This behavior can indicate a more serious issue and requires immediate attention.
- Developmental Delays: If your child is experiencing developmental delays or has difficulty with communication, socialization, or emotional regulation, it may be beneficial to consult a professional. They can help you identify any underlying issues and provide you with strategies to support your child’s development.
- Parental Stress: If you’re feeling overwhelmed, stressed, or struggling to cope with your child’s tantrums, it may be helpful to seek additional support. This can include talking to a therapist, joining a support group, or seeking advice from a trusted professional.
- Co-Occurring Conditions: If your child has a co-occurring condition such as ADHD, autism, or anxiety, it may be beneficial to consult a professional. They can help you identify any underlying issues and provide you with strategies to manage the tantrums and support your child’s development.
Remember, seeking support or additional help is not a sign of weakness or failure. It’s a sign of strength and a proactive approach to supporting your child’s development and well-being. Don’t hesitate to reach out to a professional if you’re concerned about your child’s tantrums or development.
6. Promoting Emotional Intelligence: Long-Term Strategies for Growth and Development
Promoting emotional intelligence in your child is a long-term strategy that can help reduce the frequency and intensity of 21 month old tantrums. Emotional intelligence refers to a set of skills that help individuals understand, use, and manage their emotions in positive ways to relieve stress, communicate effectively, empathize with others, overcome challenges, and defuse conflict.
Here are some strategies to promote emotional intelligence in your child:
Label Emotions
Help your child learn to identify and label their emotions. When your child is upset, describe their emotions in simple language. For example, you might say, “I can see that you’re feeling frustrated because you can’t have the toy you want.” This helps your child understand their emotions and learn to express them in words rather than through tantrums.
In conclusion, 21 month old tantrums are a normal part of a child’s development, caused by rapid developmental changes, separation anxiety, boundary testing, and emotional regulation challenges. While tantrums can be challenging for parents and caregivers, there are strategies you can use to prevent and respond to them effectively.
Preventing tantrums involves setting clear boundaries, establishing consistent routines, offering predictable consequences, providing opportunities for choice, and engaging in proactive problem-solving. When tantrums do occur, responding with strategies that de-escalate the situation and help your child learn to manage their emotions is essential.
It’s also crucial for parents and caregivers to stay calm and composed during tantrums, taking care of themselves, seeking support, and practicing patience. If you’re concerned about your child’s tantrums or development, seeking support or additional help from a professional is not a sign of weakness, but a proactive approach to supporting your child’s well-being.
Promoting emotional intelligence in your child is a long-term strategy that can help reduce the frequency and intensity of tantrums. By helping your child learn to identify and label their emotions, you can support their emotional development and teach them healthy ways to manage their feelings.
Remember, you’re not alone in dealing with 21 month old tantrums. With the right strategies and support, you can help your child learn to manage their emotions and create a more peaceful home environment.
